#99May 01, 2023
Welcome to Whisper #99.
Forget living your best life. Live YOUR life, best
There are plenty of reminders to live our best lives. Many social media posts shout at us to ‘live our best life’ or show the momentary highlight reel in someone’s life with the tagline ‘living my best life’.
Now, I’m all for doing what we can to improve and maximise our potential across the range and reach in our lives. However, we forget sometimes that our lives inevitably throw us curve balls now and again. The added pressure of living our best lives when one of our kids is struggling at school; or one of our parents are sick; or our partner might be struggling with something at work; or we’re struggling holding the weight of everything that isn’t perfect in our lives; can add significant pressure to ‘be our best’.
So, what if instead of soaking yourself in the pressure of living your best life and constantly comparing yourself to those momentary social media posts you lived YOUR life as best you can? What if you allowed yourself to experience and accept the inevitable ups and downs of YOUR life? Accept it when it’s good and also when it’s not so good. Maybe being your best in certain situations is just about getting through it. Maybe surviving the night with a toddler with an earache is the best outcome in YOUR life. Maybe getting through the week without a family argument is success for the week. Maybe getting a good night’s sleep is a bonus.
Life can be challenging and living it fully as best as you can with whatever you have – maybe that’s living your best life.
Are you willing to accept yourself just as you are?
Carl Rogers, one of the founding fathers of modern psychology, suggested that when we accept ourselves as we are then we are more able to change ourselves – or at least the parts we want to and can change.
Sometimes unconditional acceptance can facilitate conditional improvements. Self-acceptance is a powerful force for good and not just for ourselves.
Listen to the TED talk from Michelle Charfen for the impact it had on her parenting style.
Question of the week:
Acceptance of self - conditional or unconditional?
Take note of when you’re more accepting of yourself.
In what circumstances or situations are you more accepting or less accepting?
With whom are you more or less accepting?
When you make what sort of mistakes or come up short are you more or less accepting?
What would your balance sheet of acceptance show?
Quote of the week:
You could be good today, but instead you choose tomorrow - Marcus Aurelius
For now, forget tomorrow. One day we’ll not see tomorrow.
All we can guarantee is now and then another now. If we’re lucky we’ll get a cumulative series of ‘nows’.
Avoid putting off until tomorrow that which you could easily start today.
Go on, just start. Start small. Start easy. Start ugly. Just start.
Freedom Fridays Podcast Episode #71 Featuring Aly King-Smith
In Episode 71 Pete chats with long-time colleague and fellow facilitator and coach Aly King-Smith. The conversation loops between strategies to effectively address burn-out, how to re-invent yourself for the next life chapter, and whether you’re inflicting or inflicted. A wide-ranging conversation with some gold if you listen to what’s between the words.
Aly King-Smith is the Director of Clearworks Coaching, who specialise in coaching senior leaders in the STEM sector; and has newly founded A Listening Life which is built entirely to support coaches who are running out of steam in building a financially sustainable practice. The podcast explores stories and top tips from successful peers who have managed to crack the puzzle, and build profitable businesses, using their coaching. Aly is currently writing a self-coaching workbook for coaches to use as their supportive friend.
That's all for this week. If you’ve been enjoying the Weekly Whispers please feel free to forward it to friends and anyone you think would benefit.
As always, email me at [email protected] to share your feedback or to let me know your thoughts.
GET YOUR WEEKLY WHISPER
AND GIVE A LITTLE TOO
IT MAY BE THE WHISPER YOU NEED TO IGNITE A CHANGE
21 Whispers has partnered with B1G1 and each sign up to our Weekly Whispers Newsletter will help break the poverty cycle by providing a day's secondary education to a child in Vietnam