fully committed totally unattached playing if you were totally free reflections of where we're not free trying to avoid a bad future Dec 05, 2022
life long learning

Welcome to Weekly Whisper #83.

Recently I was asked, “How do you make time for your own growth and learning?”. In some ways because it’s a big part of my job I’m immersed in growth and learning constantly. However, just like fish can’t see water, sometimes I’m not aware of how I’m growing or what I’m learning (or not!!), so I thought I’d be explicit with something that recently provoked me.

As I’ve started to travel again I’ve enjoyed listening to a variety of different podcasts. One of the podcast series I've enjoyed is the 'I AM' podcast hosted by Jonny Wilkinson.

Most of us probably remember Jonny for kicking the goal that won England the rugby world cup in 2003. Today, his performance philosophy is quite different and I listened to a recent episode where he interviewed Peter Crone (The Mind Architect). Peter uses many phrases and examples that got me thinking.

Everything below is attributed to Peter Crone. For the full version of the podcast click here.

Life presents us with people and circumstances that reflect where we’re not free

This one stopped me in my tracks and I had to rewind just to process it.

Once I’d processed the language – Yep there are many people and circumstances presented to me that I get ‘caught by’. For overt and covert reasons the person or situation creates friction in my mind and it rubs up against previously held thoughts or assumptions.

The irony being, once I was aware of the premise, and became aware of the people and circumstances, I became more accepting.

The ‘friction-causing’ people and circumstances continue to show up, and when I can remain present and accepting, I allow space to be compassionate with myself. The awareness has allowed me to ‘have’ the thoughts rather than being ‘had’ by them.

How about you? How often do you get ‘had’ by your own thoughts?

People are trying to avoid a bad future that hasn’t happened yet

Perhaps because they're good at risk management 😊 and I get the point.

I wonder how often we dilute our present by thinking of, and therefore trying to avoid, something bad happening to us in the future.

We invest energy in the present thinking about ways in which we can avoid situations that might happen and thereby don’t fully experience the moment. Often our thoughts about a potential future are influenced by our narrative about the past.

Peter suggested that we can’t change our future, simply because it hasn’t happened yet. However, we can change our history by attributing a different and possibly more empowering narrative.

I’m curious how often I invest time and energy into speculating about the future at the cost of changing my history? There are certainly a few events that I can’t change from my history but I’m wondering if it’s time to change the story I made up about them.

How do you bring your history with you every day?

Question of the week:
How would you play if you were totally free?

My mind immediately went to golf, which I enjoy playing and am an enthusiastic amateur.

When I play well I’m almost free from thought. I’m free from judgement of the last shot. And I’m free from expectations about the next one. The reason I’m an amateur is that I can’t quite be totally consistent with this approach!

The thought “If I was totally free how would I play this shot” has occurred to me, and whilst not providing a 100% success rate, it has on quite a few occasions helped me play the shot better.

So, whether it’s related to golf, any other sport, or the game of life – how would you play if you were totally free?

Quote of the week:
Fully committed, totally unattached

Ah, the Buddhist philosophy. Dream all you want but don’t be attached to the outcome. Allow it to flow. Don’t force but allow. This is still very much a work in progress for me unless it’s small and I don’t care about the outcome 😊

I’ve certainly become attached to certain outcomes – client outcomes, levels of income, friendship groups, levels of performance, perception of success, etc, etc.

On occasions, it can suck the life out of the experience for me. I’d go in with a preset idea of how I wanted a situation to work out – all good so far. However, the challenge is, that depending on what actually happened, I’d feel good or bad accordingly.

So, I’m able to practise the first part of the quote but struggle and toil with the second part.

How about you? Where’s your focus? Full commitment? Or totally unattachment? Maybe you’ve found the balance in both?

Are you up to date with the Freedom Fridays Podcast?

Catch up on Episode #64

An exploration of what freedom means. Through a series of conversations with experts and leaders in their field, we explore some of the ways we can be free from whatever is holding us back. We’ll share some of the ingredients – easy, hard, and almost impossible.

This week Pete records a solo episode. After reflecting on a question he was asked “How do you make time for learning and growth?”. Pete shares some personal insights from listening to a recent podcast.

Aligned with the philosophy behind Freedom Fridays, Pete shares his personal take on questions like “How would you play if you were totally free?”.

Jonny Wilkinson's I Am podcast episode with Peter Crone can be found here.



That's all for this week. I hope you enjoyed Weekly Whisper #83.

Feedback is my fuel so if you have any comments please send me an email at [email protected] and let me know your thoughts.





21 Whispers has partnered with B1G1 and each sign up to our Weekly Whispers Newsletter will help break the poverty cycle by providing a day's secondary education to a child in Vietnam