#224

10 years ago, my wife and youngest cooked up a plot to get me alongside the idea of getting a dog.

They waited for the right moment to plant the idea because they sensed that if I were stressed and unavailable they could miss the right moment.

Thankfully, they nailed it and we have 2 wonderful Groodles.

After coaching and consulting with clients for many years, it astonishes me that this phenomenon still exists in offices today.

Here’s what happens, whether you are aware of it or not - those around are very adept at deciding whether they can approach you or not.

They quickly decide whether today is the day they ask for something or whether they avoid making the request until they sense you’re in a better mood.

Mood sensors travel fast around the office.

It’s rarely about your title, your door being open, or your calendar being free.

It’s about your energy.

We’ve all felt it walking into a meeting or kitchen and instantly sensing someone’s mood.

It’s almost cellular.

Our nervous systems are constantly scanning for cues of safety or threat.

Psychologists call this emotional contagion - the unconscious transmission of feeling states between people. Research from the University of Frankfurt and Yale’s School of Management shows that our brains mirror the micro-expressions, tone, and posture of those around us within milliseconds.

In other words, your mood is contagious before you’ve said a word.

If you were coughing and spluttering as you came into the office, you’d be quickly told to go back home so as not to spread the germs.

Not so with our mood and yet it has a similar effect.

This is why you can “feel” tension in a room before knowing what’s wrong, or sense warmth and openness before anyone smiles.

Do you have to be in a good mood for people to approach you?

Not necessarily. But you do need to be emotionally available.

Curious. Grounded. Not perfect, but present.

People don’t need permanent positivity, but they do need to know what version of you they’re approaching.

Because whether you realise it or not, you’re always broadcasting.

Your energy broadcasts the truth even if your words often don’t.

So, what energy are you broadcasting today?

Would others describe you as approachable or unpredictable or ‘it depends what mood they're in’?

What would you think and feel if you knew others were hesitant to approach you because of your perceived mood?