#195

emotions leadership mindset personal growth self-awareness Apr 21, 2025
Pile of expressive emoji faces symbolising a range of emotions, reflecting the theme of knowing when to acknowledge and hold or express feelings

Last week, Rory McIlroy won the Masters and became only the 6th player in history to win a career Grand Slam (winning all 4 major golf events).
Much will be written about the drama of that last round and indeed the preceding 11 years McIlroy didn’t win a major championship.
Having sunk a 3-foot putt for victory Rory sunk to his knees with an immediate out-pouring of emotion.

He’d obviously felt the need - and perhaps a performance requirement – to hold the emotion inside despite a topsy turvy final round.
It got me thinking about us mere (golfing) mortals.
Are our emotions meant to be held or heard?
Repressed or expressed?
Buried or revealed?
And, of course, the answer is both.
But can you distinguish when to release and when to withhold?

Some emotions are meant to be held, like an anchor in a storm, they steady us.

Other emotions are meant to be released, like steam from a pressure valve.
The art is knowing which is which and when is zen.

There are moments when holding them in is wise.
When we’re in the middle of the meeting; when the kids are watching; when someone else needs us to be the steady one.
These are the times to carry the emotion quietly, tuck them into the corner of our heart, and revisit them later when it’s safe to feel.
But then… there are the other moments.
Moments when holding it in becomes too much.
When we’ve just realised a lifetime dream by winning a golf tournament; when a loved one gets good news about an illness; an emotional end to your favourite movie.

So, here’s a question worth asking yourself in quiet moments:
Is this emotion asking to be held, or asking to be heard?

If it’s asking to be held: hold it with compassion, without judgement, for later.
You don’t have to fix it. Just honour its presence. Let it settle. Let it soften.

If it’s asking to be heard: find a safe space to let it out.
Cry in the car; Scream into the wind; write it down; move so it can move through your body.
Let the emotion come—not to drown in it, but to stop pretending it isn’t there.

Emotions aren’t problems to solve or ignore.
They’re signals.
Messengers.
Sometimes warnings, sometimes wisdom.

So, this week when something stirs within—whether it’s grief, joy, rage, or tenderness—ask it gently:
“Are you here to be held, or to be let go?”
And listen for the whisper in the answer.

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Cheers

Pete

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